A Different Perspective

Parenting a gifted child with one of the most unique personalities that has ever touched my life can bring with it a multitude of emotions and experiences...from confusion, frustration, joy, laughter, sadness and above all a different vision on the world.

My 14 year old son while getting his breakfast this morning while I am unloading the dishwasher says to me ~ completely out of the blue and context of the situation, as is his nature, the following conversation:

Dylan: Sometimes however hard they try pigs can't fly.

Me: But Dylan pigs don't fly....

Dylan: Well if Farmer Joe was relocating his farm from Brazil to New Zealand he would take all his animals with him, including the pigs who are named Ben and Harry! (meaning of course that the pigs would go on an airplane with Farmer Joe)


How does one respond to such a dialogue or conundrum presented other than with a big *grin* and that warm feeling in your heart that comes from the pure joy of knowing that the world can be seen through a different perspective at any point in time.

What I wouldn't give to get into Dylan's brain....to follow his thought process and patterns...his vision, how he sees the world. How he does so in a way that seems so completely out of context, yet hits you in a deep way.

So what is the deeper message I got from my moments with Dylan this morning ~ that no matter how impossible or improbable things may seem that there is usually a way to make it possible. We spend so much of our time questioning whether something is possible that we miss seeing things from a different perspective. To see that although pigs don't have wings ~ they can fly. It is that belief and ability to see things from a different perspective that will open up many doors of opportunity and possibility for us......my friends ~ open your eyes, mind and heart to a new perspective.

I'm Back!!

Well....I am finally back at it!!! Yes, you guessed it by the pic ~ I went to the gym tonight. For the first time in 4 weeks!!!! :)

I have missed the gym so much....from the person who greets you with "have a great workout" when you arrive....to walking through the glass doors to be greeted by the sights, smells (oh the aroma...lol) and sounds of being in the gym! To the moment you leave, feeling warm from the inside out, and feeling completely rejuvenated and the person at the desk waves a "goodbye hope you had a great workout" to you!

I hopped onto my favourite machine ~ the arc trainer....putting my feet into the waiting platforms which give you the feeling of "floating on air". Pushing the oh so familiar buttons with a bleep here and beep here I set off in motion. The familiar glide felt so wonderful to this body of mine. The sound of the thump, thump, thump of someone running on the treadmill and the clack, clack, clack of the arms on the cross trainer and the heavy breathing of the people around me was music to my ears. The familiar and unfamiliar faces of those who felt the call of the gym tonight and the sight of the closed captioning across the screen of the tv....and the powerful sight of the many wonderful machines to choose from. Oh how I had missed the gym. And of course we can't forget that smell that greets you as you open the glass doors ~ that musty smell of the vast array of body odours that permeate the room....somewhat similar to the smell of a grade six / seven classroom ~ just not quite as "fresh" (those who have ever braved entering such a classroom on gym day, or any day for that matter, know exactly what I am talking about). It didn't take long for this body of mine to begin to feel my heart beat faster, my body temperature to rise and my muscles feel the pure joy of being worked hard!

After 20 minutes on my favourite arc trainer ~ yes it took everything in me not to push myself too hard and end up overdoing it....those who know me well will know what a challenge that would have been for me... I went into the weight room. The familiar clank of the weights....the sound of CFOX playing on the stereo...yes, I felt like I was "home"! I used a variety of machines ~ yes even the machine that I swear shouldn't be used by a woman in front of a man....it is just too weird (those who have been to the gym with me know exactly what machine I am talking about).

I finished my evening at the gym with 10 minutes more of cardio ~ this time on the cross trainer because while I was in the weight room the cardio room became packed with people. Then some nice stretching.....my least favourite part....unlike my dear workout friends! :)

I have missed working out so much. Who would have thought a year ago that I would be speaking those words. I was the constant "mocker" of those who chose to spend time at the gym ~ don't you have anything better to do with your time like going for coffee, hanging out with friends, spending time online....surely there is something better to do than work out. A few things and one catalyst in particular led me to the gym....to make the choice to take care of myself, to become healthy. And here I am eight months later missing the gym when I am not there because I know now how very much working out has made me so much healthier in mind, body and spirit! :)

Hope.....

This Christmas morning I was blessed with the gift of hope from two very special friends..... Knowing the many challenges, unknowns and transitions that lay ahead for me, these two wonderful lights in my life chose to share with me this Christmas, a message of ~ HOPE. To know that there is a "reminder" I can turn to when I find myself struggling to find hope, is a blessing that cannot be described by mere words....it will be these small treasures, and many others that bless my life that will get me through the darkest of days when I struggle to find the strength to do it on my own.

What lies behind us and what lies before us are but small matters

compared to what lies within us. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hope is something that comes from within us. True hope cannot come from an external source.... We must find that piece within us that gives us the strength to face the journey that lays ahead. It is through hope that we have courage....without hope we are overcome by fears that paralyze us and prevent us from LIVING.

May you LIVE all the days of your life. ~ Jonathan Swift

Tonight, as I sat with candles burning, reflecting on the places of hope in my life....I read the gift of words of hope and held the visual reminder of the simple silver word of hope while I connected to that place of strength, of courage and most of all of hope, from within myself. HOPE was the message I needed and was intended to hear this Christmas....to know that regardless of what lays ahead in my journey I will face it with the hope that I will continue to grow in honouring myself, in becoming healthier day by day in mind, body, spirit and heart.

At the back of the book I was given is a poem about hope written by the author

Hope Happens!

Hope is what happens when you first see a light

Just a distant, small star in the darkest of night.

Hope is what happens with the first buds of spring

When dawn touches the sky or a bird spreads it's wings.

Hope is what happens when a wound starts to heal

Whether skin deep or soul deep, you begin to feel real.

Hope is what happens when you're poor but not broken

There's a goldmine of dreams - just not yet awoken.

Hope is what happens when someone is kind

A feeling not lost - just misplaced in your mind.

Hope is what happens when war turns to peace

After everyone prayed that the fighting would cease.

Hope is what happens with the smell of fresh rain

When your long drought of dreams is renewed yet again.

Hope is what happens when clouds finally clear

Troubled thunder falls silent -courageous whispers you hear.

Hope is what happens when your heart skips a beat

And, so least expected, a soul mate you meet.

Hope is what happens when fresh bread is baking

And what hungers your heart, will one day stop aching.

Hope is what happens when kindling ignites

You rediscover your passion that burns day and night.

Hope is what happens when the pain eases a bit

And deep down inside, you find your true grit.

Hope is what happens as long as we breathe

For although it takes time, the sorrow will leave.

Hope is what happens long after the pain

Hope is what happens - again and again.

Catherine DeVrye

We cannot see hope within the things the author outlines without first having the true sense of hope from within ourselves.....it is hope that gives us courage, that gives us the ability to see the blessings and opportunities.....choose to LIVE life....to LIVE IN HOPE!

Have you......

told someone you think they are special today...

have you said the unsaid things.....

I have been thinking a lot about that lately....perhaps because it is drawing near the end of another year of time passed, of moments and breaths that I have been blessed with. It is a time of reflection, of looking back upon my journey. This year, in particular I have a lot to reflect upon. I never would have thought I would be where I am today one and a half years ago when this particular branch of my journey began....when I realized yet again in my lifetime, how precious each breath is and that we cannot let things go unsaid....

Those who know me well, will know that I am an open book....one who will speak freely from the heart. Some take my heartfelt words as they are intended....an expression of how much you mean to me....and others a little more skeptical. I had someone say to me the other day "that first part is a little white lie, but thanks anyway"...no, it isn't. Perhaps those words ~ you are special and you brighten my day, or similar ones cannot be fully embraced because they aren't said often enough. When I say to you ~ you are special, I care about you and you brighten my day I mean it with all my heart....because each one of you is a blessing in this world and I am richly blessed to have you touch my life however you do so.

This is a time of year of joy for many....but it is also the time of year when depression and suicide are at their highest rates....So, to those who are experiencing either emotion or perhaps both, I say to you ~ you are special, you are a blessing in the world simply by being you, and you are a light in this world that sometimes seems dark.

Say those words ~ the unsaid ones....tell someone you love them, you care about them, they mean the world to you...embrace the opportunity of today for what it is, a blessing, a time to speak the words that may otherwise go unsaid ~ for that is the greatest gift you could give another and even more so, yourself.

Love to you all ~ you are a blessing, a light in this world and each one of you is incredibly special....may your hearts be full and your spirits be light and may you know that someone cares!

The ultimate gracious gift....

Wow....I can't believe how long it has been since I last posted.....who would have thought anything could keep me quiet. Those who know me well, will know how bizarre it is for me to not be "talking". So tonight I am back at it friends....time to enter into the world again and speak.

I had my surgery just over 3 weeks ago....my last post spoke about the complexities of the emotions I was feeling in relation to my surgery. Those still continue to be at the forefront in my journey and I know it will take time and grace to work through them.

It has been a tough 3 weeks.....the feeling of confinement is more than this free spirit can handle, in fact in many ways the confinement has broken my spirit, if only for this brief period of time. The hobbling spirit is now beginning to heal and embrace the world and all it's wonders once again....to feel whole again.

The surgery itself was something I wouldn't wish upon anyone....to lie there filled the complexities of emotions and be coherent while a surgeon removes your cornea and replaces it with another's cornea is an experience that cannot be justly put into words. And of course the unique person I am required 3 times the usual amount of freezing and sedative and that still wasn't enough ~ so where others would feel no pain and be less coherent I felt pain and was very aware of everything that was being done to me.

I have spent the last 3 weeks healing, the first week being by far the toughest as I felt my body play tug-o-war with itself as it fought to reject the cornea while at the same time fought to heal...I could feel that battle within me and it took every ounce of strength I had to get through it. After being put on oral steroids and antibiotics, along with the already prescribed drops, I was finally able to begin to feel a sense of healing. Today as I type this I have come a long way ~ physically anyway and definitely in part, psychologically. My vision is slowly starting to come and the eye is healing nicely. We still have the concern that there are still blood vessels in my eye, which we don't want attacking the new cornea...but hopefully the steroids will help with that concern.

I have been so richly blessed with many friends who have held my hand, supported me, loved me and gave me space when I needed it....I truly could not have made it through these last several weeks without you. Your cups of coffee or chai tea, words of encouragement, gentle hugs, rides to church, providing a place of refuge, caring for my children, supportive emails and your gracious friendship.....yes, these things and many others have been the light in my life, have helped me stay connected, if only briefly, when I have wanted so very much to hide. It is those gracious freely given acts of kindness and tenderness that has filled my heart and spirit with love and peace ~ has allowed me to feel supported in my journey....has allowed me to heal.

I think frequently of this gift ~ this ultimate gracious gift I have been given. An opportunity to retain my sight through the loss of another's life. That wonderful person who chose to give of themselves so that another's quality of life could be sustained or enriched is the greatest of all gifts......to that wonderful person I say thank you....know that I will embrace your gift, your cornea and treat it with tenderness as I embrace the blessings of each and every moment that I am given. To honour this gift of sight and to live my life fully in a place of truth and honouring myself will be the greatest gift I could ever bless the donor and his or her family, as well as myself, with.