Poison....

With a pounding head and an aching heart I reflect upon relationships in my life. I read back through the healthy tone in my last entry and think ~ how easy it is to slip backwards when you are exposed to "poison".

By poison I mean people in your life who are like poison to you.....they hurt and destroy the essence of your being by their words, actions and the role they play in your life. People who make you forget how to think and behave rationally, people who attempt to destroy the positive work you have done......people who lead you to think unhealthy thoughts about yourself or who lead you to behave in unhealthy ways. Yes, as I speak about many times....you have a choice....but there are some people who are poison to you and you lose the ability to make conscious choices. It is like you get "sucked" in so that they can poison you.

I fear those relationships in my life. I fear the detrimental affect those relationships have on the work I have done to live a healthy life of truth. It terrifies me to know that someone can have so much power over me, when I don't even want to give them any power at all. That I can be brought to tears, that I can doubt my own personal worth and that I can believe in the "poison" that is put upon me. It takes all the strength I have in me to fight the poisonous affects.

Interestingly enough despite their poisonous affects on me, most of these people I cannot fully release from my life because of ties to them that can't be broken. So what do I do to find strength to not be poisoned.....continue to live in truth, to believe in my worth and to be strong....and when I can't be strong enough on my own to lean on those I can trust to help keep me strong.

Thankfully I am blessed beyond measure with more healthy than unhealthy relationships and those relationships are my greatest resources, along with who I am, in fighting the affects of poison.

Thank you my blessings....those who love me and accept me for who I am. Who walk beside me, share my journey and help me in my journey of healing and moving forward....those who do not bring me down into that pit of darkness where I am feeling the affects of poison.