Some things in life are....

Worth waiting for......

What a journey it has been the last couple years.....and now more and more I am getting glimpses that yes, some things in life are worth waiting for....despite the challenges along the way!

We have been waiting for over 2 years for a contact lens for my eye to be available in Canada. I have only been able to wear one style and brand of contact lens available in all of Canada and unfortunately this lens doesn't breathe. Hence the blood vessels that have plagued my cornea for the last couple years....part of my reason for the need for a transplant. Well....finally....this lens has been approved and available in Canada. Only two places in all of Canada can dispense this lens and my Optometrist's office is one of the two!! (that can only be possible through God's amazing grace and love) Just over a week ago I put this new lens on for the first time......and today I went back to the Optometrist's office for my lens check. The blood vessels are now empty ~ ghost vessels they say. They will always be present but as long as we don't aggravate them they should remain empty. And my vision is better than he expected it would be. It will never be perfect...but considering my eye conditions it is better than he could have anticipated. I am able to drive, to function and although I will continue to struggle forever with night vision my daytime vision should remain functional!!! Nothing better than making your eye doctor's day by surpassing his expectations!!! What a way to end his and my week!!! So yes......some things in life are worth waiting for.

Then there are the blessings in the relationships in my life. I am finally at a place where I can feel the love for self from within my spirit....where I am able to embrace love from others. I have felt the depth in many of my life's relationships grow over the last couple years as I have grown...with each step my relationship with self grows stronger, as does my relationship with the many wonderful people who touch my life. It has been a journey of ~ choosing life.....of choosing health and being true to myself. Of learning to find myself at the root of my being, of dealing with demons and learning to love and accept myself as I am created to be. What a journey it has been.....to come to a place where I love myself and to KNOW I am loved....by many!!! I have longed to feel that love....that pure love of self and then from others....a love that is only possible when you love yourself, when you believe you are worthy of such love. With that love comes a feeling of being understood....a feeling that I have craved for most of my lifetime and yes, although people may not always agree with me and completely understand me for once I feel like there are many glimpses of being truly understood by others. I have never felt so loved, so treasured, so honoured and accepted for being who I am...who I am created to be. Yes, some things in life are worth waiting for.

In my journey of discovering self I have also grown in my spiritual relationship with my Creator. To be in a place where I believe I am worthy.....created as I am....where I am forgiven and loved unconditionally is the most remarkable place to be. This feeling is only possible through God's grace....His gentle loving touch guiding me along the way of finding myself, of loving myself, of forgiving myself. I am created to be....yes, to be as I am... living each day to the fullest, making the most out of each moment. And I am blessed by His gift of HOPE......and his amazing grace and love.

I have faced many challenges throughout my lifetime, but most especially in the last two years. I have dug deep within myself, in search of who I am without masks. I have faced some really tough places. I have struggled with putting one foot in front of the other, with finding light, with feeling HOPE. My physical and emotional health has been tested in ways that I never would have imagined possible. My ability to truly live.....to fight that feeling of hopelessness and darkness has been a struggle as I have dug into some really challenging places. I have faced many life's lessons and transitions. There were many days I wasn't sure I'd make it....but I always did....I crossed that hurdle and came out stronger in the end. I have let go of unhealthy relationships and patterns to make room for health...for HOPE to grow. And through it all I have reminded myself that "I choose life"....no matter how hard that life may be.

The ability to say "some things in life are worth waiting for" is only possible because of the challenges I have faced. Through these challenges I have gained incredible strength and awareness.....I have learned so much about myself, life and relationships. It is through these times of struggle that we learn the most.....where we can come to the place of truly knowing, of truly believing that some things in life are worth waiting for because of the struggles that we face....because of the growth and learning through those struggles. Without my physical visual struggle I perhaps may not have been able to "see" within myself in the way that I have learned to do so. Without my relationship struggles I wouldn't have been able to see the difference between healthy and unhealthy patterns of behaviour...I wouldn't have the insight that I have in the importance of living in truth, without masks. Without my spiritual struggles I wouldn't have dug deep enough to find the essence of my spiritual being ~ who I am created to be....and therefore wouldn't have gained the ability to love and forgive that person I am created to be.

My journey will continue....I will live each day to the fullest. And some of those days will be plagued with darkness, hopelessness and fear (despite how far I have come).....but I know I'll make it through those days, learning along the way because I have the strength to do so.....because ultimately ~ I choose life! My journey will not always be easy, I will continue to face struggles.....and yes, I will continue to be blessed beyond measure......

Yes ~ some things in life are worth waiting for......especially if those things help you live each moment to the fullest....to feel loved by self and others, to feel healthy and to feel HOPE.....to see light in a world that is often plagued by darkness.