Distorted Vision....

Today as I sit here typing this I can hardly read a word I am typing....forgive me if it isn't coherent. It has been a weekend full of distorted vision.

For the first time since my corneal transplant in my left eye, just over 3 months ago, I am faced with the challenge of my right eye "acting up". I have spent the weekend in a blur.....I am unable to wear my right contact lens (the only eye I can see out of) and have struggled to function all weekend as a result. The pain in my right eye is excruciating and my entire body feels filled with intense agitation.....as if it is fighting itself. I can hardly tell how the left eye is doing because the pain in the right eye is so severe.

It is through experiences like this that we gain greater empathy for others who struggle on a daily basis with pain, illness ~ their body fighting itself. To those who have never experienced that feeling....the body fighting itself....there isn't word I could use to describe this almost surreal experience....the physical and psychological reactions are so intense, you can feel the fight travel throughout your entire body and it isn't a pleasant feeling, in fact it is a very terrifying feeling.

So...where am I going with all this ~ you know I am not one to just "whine" or "vent" without a purpose......

The struggle I am facing with my vision this weekend reminds me of one of my favourite vision quotes ~

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.

~ Carl Jung

With this lack of clarity in vision this weekend, is it possible my body is telling me to look inside myself. To find the answer to why my vision seems so distorted. This week many truths have been realized and I believe I have experienced clarity in many areas of my life. So, why would I struggle so much this weekend with my vision. Despite the clarity in some areas of my life, I have faced struggles with several relationships in my life this week. Clarity, expectations, depth and boundaries have seemed quite unclear. There are perhaps things said, and unsaid that are creating misalignment in relationships. Could that possibly be the reason? Or is there something much deeper than that where my body is feeling the need to fight itself.....to distort my vision and cause me to reflect. Or is this merely a taste of what my true vision struggle could be like ~ that thought terrifies me.....to be so dependent on others just to function in life.

Regardless....I know that vision ~ external and from within is an incredible gift. One we should not take for granted.

Thanks for listening, sharing and being willing to help bring clarity into my life when I struggle to find it myself. I am off to fiddle with the aperture and "soul search" to see if I can find some clarity of vision........

Love you all! :)