I Am Who I Am....

Facing a season of my life that is filled with many challenges that I have openly shared with many, has led to my hearing more often than not "you are amazing" and "you are so strong".

If only you knew how I really heard those words. Yes, it is great to know that people admire me and have faith in me but at the same time it makes me feel like you don't see who I really am. The whole person I am....the person you would see beneath the many layers, including the ones that look like an amazing person of strength.

There are many times in my journey that I am faced with doubt, fear, weakness and where I am far from being amazing. In fact it is often hard for me to even comprehend how someone could see me as amazing....I am who I am. There are so many facets to me....some that you may see visibly, some you may have to dig to see, some I see clearly and others I have yet to discover. Regardless of it all ~ I am who I am....nothing less, nothing more and certainly no more amazing than you are.

I am a woman who is choosing to look at the challenges I am facing as opportunities....opportunities for learning, for growth and for healing. There are many things that I will be able to control and support on my journey and there are some things that are out of my hands. When asked about my vision, which is not improving and isn't where one would hope it would be, I respond with ~ "I do my drops, I go to my appointments, I follow instructions and embrace the new cornea as a gift and that is all I can do. The rest is up to a power far greater than I am and whatever is intended for me will be. Why waste my energy on worrying and stressing about the things beyond my control...I need the energy for that which I can." Of course, despite that firm belief, there are times when I falter, when I doubt, fear, cry and feel very unsure and weak. That is the balance that makes me human....

I am who I am.....